Skip to main content

tv   Late Night With Jimmy Fallon  NBC  March 12, 2011 3:05am-4:00am PST

3:05 am
-- captions by vitac -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you! that's a great crowd. great new york city crowd. thank you guys, so much. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. welcome to "late night," everybody. hey, spring is -- [ scattered cheers ] spring -- spring is just a couple weeks away. and everyone is trying to shed those winter pounds. some people are doing pilates, some are doing aerobics. and charlie sheen, duh, spinning. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] spinning. yeah, he's still everywhere. in an interview with "people" magazine, charlie sheen's two girlfriends said they each connect with charlie in different ways. [ laughter ] i'm not touching that. i'm not touching that. no, that's what i would say if i was in charlie sheen's house. i would say, "i'm not touching that." [ light laughter ]
3:06 am
check this out, panasonic is coming out with a new camera that can brighten your teeth, remove dark circles, make your eyes bigger and your cheeks rosier. [ scattered cheers ] when she heard about it, heidi montag was like, "i could have just bought a camera? you've got to be kidding me." [ laughter and applause ] [ scattered cheers ] did you guys see this? michigan lawmakers want to make it illegal to drive while on medical marijuana. [ scattered boos ] yeah, right now cops have it rough over there. right now it's like, "do you know why i pulled you over?" "no, do you know why fingers are all different lengths? [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] weird." this is a crazy story. a man in west virginia was arrested for planting explosives in his yard to scare away cats. [ laughter ] he was charged with three counts of being from west virginia. [ laughter ]
3:07 am
[ in southern accent ] "cats -- firecracker! never no more, no more cats gonna be in my yard." [ light laughter ] new survey found that women spend eight years of their lives going shopping. [ scattered cheers ] years of their lives on a bench outside ann taylor at the mall. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] "go get another cinnabon." [ light laughter ] this is insane, a woman in texas gave birth to a baby in the parking lot of a strip club this week. the baby wasn't in the mood to breast-feed, but there was a two-drink minimum. so -- [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] that's right. she gave birth outside of a strip club. it was crazy, when the baby came out, it started working the umbilical cord. it was like -- [ laughter and ohs ] sick -- you guys are all sick. the weirdest part, when the baby
3:08 am
came out, they stamped his hand in case he wanted to go back in. [ laughter ] that makes sense. [ applause ] huh? >> steve: did he have -- did ask to get a special dance in the champagne womb? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: champagne womb. oh, there you go. very nice. >> steve: did he? i don't know. i didn't read the news story. >> jimmy: finally, the mexican president was in town and he said he wants more american tourists to visit his country. which explains their new tourism slogan, "mexico, come to us, or we'll come to you." [ light laughter ] ladies and gentlemen, we have a great show tonight. give it up for the roots, right there! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have such a great finish to the week tonight. a great actress, she stars in the new nbc hit series
3:09 am
"harry's law," kathy bates is in the house! [ cheers and applause ] our good friend from "parks and recreation," chris pratt is joining us. [ cheers and applause ] and we've got great music from lupe, lupe, lupe fiasco! [ cheers and applause ] it's going to be good. i want to remind everybody. look, we have our own ice cream flavor. ben and jerry's "late night snack," right there. [ cheers and applause ] it's a real thing. it's a real flavor. you can buy this in stores. it's the coolest flavor ever. it has salty and sweet in the same thing. it has chocolate covered potato chips and a salty caramel swirl in a -- that's right, chocolate-covered potato chips. [ laughter ] it's so weird and it's so good you'd think that it wouldn't be good. just do it as a dare. you've had some? >> yes. >> jimmy: and you like it? you love it? oh, that's awesome. thank you so much. see, one person likes it. >> steve: there you go. [ cheers and applause ]
3:10 am
and if only one person likes it -- >> jimmy: that's it, it's phenomenon. it's so good. hey, guys, you know, we showed you a commercial on our show a few nights ago for charlie sheen's new cologne, called "winning." [ cheers and applause ] i actually went out and got a bottle and i have to say it smells pretty good. it's a good product. and apparently that's not the only product charlie sheen has out there. i guess he's just trying to capitalize on the moment or something, but i saw this commercial just last night. take a look. >> hi, everybody, i'm charlie sheen. [ laughter ] anyway, i've had a pretty amazing week, duh, hello? winning. it's pretty amazing stuff. now the great folks over at time life have put everything i've said into one great collection. "charlie sheen, things i've said." you'll get such classics as "rock star from mars," "winning, duh," "adonis dna," "fools and trolls and warlocks," "tiger blood is dripping from my fangs," "winning," "i will love you violently," "10,000 brain in
3:11 am
the boogers of a 7-year-old," "droopy-eyed, armless children." and if you order now, and why wouldn't you? duh. you also get this bitchin' bonus collection, "charlie sheen, things i'm about to say." such future hits as, "goddesses with benefits," "i'll have what sheen's having," [ laughter ] "stay away, stamos," "not guilty, your honor," "emilio, can i crash on your couch?" "warlock matrix," "purple smells like eyeball," "laser yoga, laser yoga," "i have moon rocks for hands," "i-gnarly," "riding shotgun in aphrodite's hatchback," and many more. i say a lot of bitchin' stuff and it can be hard to keep track of it all. but with these two collections, you'll all ways be "winning, duh." trolls and fools. >> announcer: to oder "charlie sheen, the things i've said," call 1-800-555- 0199. order now and also receive "charlie sheen, the things i'm about to say."ayll. n call now. [ applause ] trolls and fools.
3:12 am
i'm definitely getting both of those. hey, you guys, today is friday and that's usually when i catch up some personal stuff. i check my inbox and, return some emails and, of course, send out "thank you notes." [ cheers and applause ] i'm running behind today. i was just wondering -- if you guys wouldn't mind, i'd just like to write out a few thank you notes rights now. is that okay with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] you guys are the best. thank you so much. hey james, can i get some thank you note writing music? ♪ [ light laughter ] are you listening to a different song or something? he's got his ipad on, i think. [ light laughter ] ♪ thank you, sarongs, for feeling sa-right.
3:13 am
[ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] ♪ thank you, friend who says they don't want to take sides, for basically saying you don't want to take my side. [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, martini glasses, for being perfectly designed to spill 1/3 of your contents as soon as i touch you. [ laughter and applause ] here's your -- oh, sorry. >> steve: that was an appletini, oh. appletinis? >> steve: yeah, i do. i think they're great. >> jimmy: you don't like them? >> no. i love appletinis, chocolatinis. anything with a 'tini on it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how many 'tinis? >> steve: hmm -- i usually have 3 'tinis for lunch.
3:14 am
i go throw up, have more 'tinis. [ laughter ] midoritini, tiamaritatini. kahluatini. >> jimmy: teeny tiny 'tinis. >> steve: teeny tiny 'tinis. teeny weeny 'tinis. in a yellow bikini. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, weather, for going from cold to warm to cold again. you're confusing the hell out of m'nips. [ laughter and applause ] woo. some writer just wants to say "m'nips," that's all. [ laughter ] >> steve: did it say "'m,' apostrophe, 'nips'?" >> jimmy: it did. >> steve: nice. >> jimmy: i mean, i wrote it. >> steve: well, yeah. oops. [ laughter ] cats out of the bag. >> jimmy: oops. >> steve: guilty. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, elton john, for trying to lose weight on that trendy new all-baby diet. [ laughter and ohs ] ♪
3:15 am
thank you, divider stick at the grocery store checkout line, for keeping my grocery total from becoming infinity. [ laughter ] doesn't stop. [ scattered applause ] ♪ thank you, people who say, "someone let the cat out of the bag," like it's a bad thing. [ laughter ] let it out. why is your cat in the bag? [ scattered applause ] get it out of there. >> steve: that guy from west virginia had his cat in a bag. [ mumbles in southern accent ] "-- my backyard!" [ laughter ] >> steve: "dear jimmy fallon, i am offended the way that you've portrayed our state. [ laughter ] signed --" >> jimmy: no, it's just one human i'm making fun of. >> steve: okay, it's one human, 'cause we love --
3:16 am
>> jimmy: yeah, i'm just poking fun. just a jape. [ light laughter ] >> steve: bravo. >> jimmy: just some, some -- ♪ thank you, mcdonald's for reportedly bringing back the mclobster sandwich. [ scattered groans ] 'cause when i'm craving lobster, my first thought is, "how can i get some for less than $2?" [ laughter and applause ] mclobster. ♪ thank you, cleavage, for not being called "plumber's wife crack." [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] ♪ thank you, the ken doll, for celebrating your 50th birthday this month.
3:17 am
i got you something i know you've always wanted -- genitals. [ laughter ] there you go, everybody! those are my "thank you notes." [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back with kathy bates. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] something special is beginning this march.
3:18 am
subway is introducing the featured $5 footlong of the month. each month an extra special footlong joins our many $5 footlong favorites. the meatball pepperoni is the featured $5 footlong in march only!
3:19 am
with water-activated ingredients and was transported to paradise. my hair flowing with softness and shine. as nature intended. [ female announcer ] someone's been doing the herbal! the new herbal essences collections. [ female announcer ] someone's soeh, thirty days. max. we'll see about that. [ female announcer ] glade® lasting impressions: two complementary fragrances alternate to keep things fresh. and not just for thirty days. our longest-lasting plugins air freshener lasts for sixty. well that lasted longer than i thought. i knew it would. [ female announcer ] get freshness that won't fade away for sixty days with plugins lasting impressions. now glade scented oil fits air wick® warmers, too. so you can choose your favorite glade fragrances. s.c. johnson, a family company.
3:20 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: welcome back, everybody. hope you have a great weekend. our first guest this evening has delivered some unforgettable big-screen performances. she won an oscar for her role in "misery." went on to star in huge -- [ cheers ] i know. wasn't she amazing? went on to star in huge movies like "titanic" and "the waterboy." i love. and "the blind side." she currently stars in the hit show "harry's law," which can be seen mondays, 10:00 p.m., here on nbc. please welcome a great actress. she's one of the coolest. here's kathy bates! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
3:21 am
>> jimmy: first time visiting. thank you for coming by the show. >> thank you for inviting me. i'm glad to be here. >> jimmy: we're so psyched that you're here. i got to say, you're amazing in "harry's law." i'm so happy we have "harry's law" on nbc. >> thank you. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the ratings are through the roof. >> thank you. >> jimmy: so good. it helps our show out, as well. >> thanks. >> jimmy: but, you're also very funny on "the office," as well. [ cheers ] >> oh, i've been -- been -- yeah. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: yeah, there you are -- >> yeah, i know. my secret wish would be to replace steve carell and do both shows. so, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, my. there's that rumor. there's a rumor going around, they're trying to get you to do that. >> no, no. i don't think they could ever do that. so -- >> jimmy: you couldn't do that, right? you're working too hard on "harry's." >> no, it'd be too much. it'd be crazy. yeah. it's hard. >> jimmy: and what -- did you say anything to steve? he must be sad he's leaving, right? >> i haven't seen him. i'm supposed to go back for a couple of episodes in the spring, so i'm looking forward to seeing him then. >> jimmy: yeah. he'll be fine, though. >> he'll be good. >> jimmy: it'll be fine. yeah, i think it'll be good. >> i think he'll work after this. >> jimmy: i think he'll do okay. yeah -- you know what i wanted to talk to you about too -- 'cause i know you're also a good director, as well. you direct a lot. >> yes. >> jimmy: why do you like directing? you like doing both? >> i love doing both. i -- i love mainly working on "six feet under." that was my happiest time directing. [ cheers and applause ]
3:22 am
it was such a great show. >> jimmy: that was amazing. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> yeah, terrific people, and i learned a lot about directing. you know, somebody told me this story once about, what i think epitomizes what a director shouldn't be. you know, it's a true story. there was a conductor -- very famous conductor that came across from europe. and this is way back in the '70s. and he went to l.a. and he was conducting a big symphony orchestra, and he was a real prick. >> jimmy: oh, really? he treated every body like [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> can i say these words on tv? >> jimmy: no. no. [ laughter ] >> i can't? >> jimmy: no, you can say it, but we'll bleep it. yeah. we have -- we have a voice that will go "censor." >> okay. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: every time you say something, you hear james earl jones says "censor." >> "censor," okay. [ laughter ] get -- get your bleeper out. >> jimmy: all right. we'll have it. >> okay, so. anyway, he was a real "censor." [ laughter ] and -- >> jimmy: you don't have to say "censor," we'll do it for you. >> oh, okay. all right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i love that you're self-bleeping yourself.
3:23 am
[ applause ] sorry. just tell the story. the guy was a real prick. yeah, here we go. >> he was a real prick. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and everybody in the orchestra hated him. he treated everybody like "censor," you know. [ laughter ] so anyway, there was a big -- there was a big dress rehearsal for all the patrons. so everybody was in the audience. the orchestra was in place. the guy walks out. he bows to much applause from the audience. he gives the downbeat, and nothing happens. >> jimmy: hmm. >> and -- yeah. the audience -- that was great. you did it perfectly. [ light laughter ] so he huffed himself up. he tapped on the stand. he gave the down beat again. nothing happened. finally, the first chair violinist stood up and said, "that's just to show you no [ bleep ] music comes out of that baton of yours." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i wish you said "censor" on that one.
3:24 am
that one -- that one -- >> but they'll censor it, right? it's will -- >> jimmy: yeah, absolutely. yeah. >> 'cause you can't really tell the -- >> jimmy: we'll be -- we'll be off the air. we'll be off the air, yeah, by tomorrow. this is our last show, everybody. [ laughter ] so happy you're all here. that's a good story. that's a great story. we should talk about "harry's law." >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's kind of a really cool premise to the show. do you want to explain to everybody what it -- >> yeah, it's kind of cool. i mean, you can't say any of those words that i just said. >> jimmy: no. >> no, 'cause it's at 10:00, you know, and so you have to be, kind of, nice and clean with everything. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but harry starts out as a patent lawyer who makes a lot of money. she's smoking dope. she's watching cartoons. she's really had it with her job. and then she gets fired. and she goes out into the neighborhood, walking around. she doesn't know what she's gonna do next. she's still kind of stoned. and she finds this -- [ laughter ] she finds this -- i like gritty. gritty, you know. >> jimmy: yeah. that's what makes it fun. i think it's cool. >> so, she finds this derelict -- >> jimmy: a weed-smoking lawyer. >> that's right. she finds this derelict shoe store and she decides this is gonna be her new -- her new office. and she's gonna be a criminal
3:25 am
lawyer and protect people. >> jimmy: i think it's great. i love that. and i know that the character is a little you. you're not a hugger. >> no, not a whole lot. it depends -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't like people touching you or anything? >> not unbidden. >> jimmy: no. >> no, not unbidden. you know? >> jimmy: yeah. like me, i said to you -- when i said "hi" to you -- here, i would -- i was hesitant. >> well, you approached me with some trepidation. >> jimmy: i did. [ light laughter ] i didn't -- i wanted to see what your body language was. i went, "handshake, maybe?" [ laughter ] and you were like, "no, handshake's enough." i go, "okay." [ laughter ] >> yeah. that was -- that was -- yeah. you're right. >> jimmy: that was about right. so you just don't like people going -- you not into it. >> well, lately, lately, lately, no. no, i'm not a hugger. i'm not a hugger. >> jimmy: no. that's not bad, though. but, do you -- do you find a lot -- >> everybody hugs a lot and shakes hands a lot. especially when you're getting ready to eat at a restaurant. they say, "oh, hi, how are you?" you're just about to dig in and you have to shake some greasy, sweaty hand, you know? [ laughter ] and i just hate that. >> jimmy: yeah i --
3:26 am
i worry -- the kissing sometimes -- i know a friend of mine that kisses everyone on the lips. >> no. >> jimmy: and my wife. yeah. [ laughter ] he says, "hi." -- goes, "hey." and my wife will actually move her face away from his lips. she's like, "hi -- hi, oh, man." and he'll find her lips. i go, "hey, don't kiss my wife on the lips. what's wrong with you? that's weird." he thinks he's from europe or something. >> that's weird. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. yeah. >> jimmy: i don't like that. i don't like people -- also, i dated this girl once and she used to rub my hand. like, she would just keep doing that. and it used to drive me nuts. we were at the movies and she'd hold my hand and would then start rubbing like that. and i just forgot about the movie. all i kept thinking was, "how do i get out of this hand rubbing? [ laughter ] the night is not going to work out." >> no. >> jimmy: no. it didn't. >> no. i know. no. >> jimmy: kicked her to the curb. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. i love how down to earth you are, i got to say. 'cause that's one of the things i always loved -- 'cause you're -- you're an oscar winner. you'd think that you'd just be,
3:27 am
like, you know, the queen, just walking around and, like -- >> no, no. i learned very early on, you know? and matter of fact, it was right after i won the oscar, i went to chicago to do a part in "prelude to a kiss." and i took my little dog with me. but the minute i got an oscar, everything changed. you know, people said, "oh, it's not gonna be a town car, we're gonna send a limo for you." do you have -- you have an extra room at the hotel, if you want it. my husband said, "for what? what are we gonna have an extra room for? i don't get it." you know? >> jimmy: you get a new friend, put him up at a hotel. >> and i remember the night that i went to work, i was with alec baldwin. and i was so excited because, i was so -- you know, he's so cute and so sexy. [ light laughter ] and there were all these people lining the street. we were doing a night shoot, and there were all these people in the neighborhood, and then they all wanted alec's autograph. obviously, i mean, he's a famous star. but they also wanted my autograph.lso wanted my and i was, "wow," you know, "this is happening so fast. i'm already famous. i mean, the oscars. amazing. and my life is changing. and later on in the middle of the night, i had to take my little dog out for a walk.
3:28 am
and they said, "i'm sorry, ms. bates, you can't go by yourself, you have to take a bodyguard with you." and i was like, "whoa, this is like -- you know, four more and i'm like madonna, you know." [ laughter ] and i was just getting so excited about all this. and so i went on a walk with my little dog, and he did his business. and i realized i didn't have anything to clean up after him. and i was horrified. because i thought, now the bodyguard's gonna talk to the trades -- you know, the -- what do you call it -- papers and he's gonna talk about how i don't clean up after my dog. >> jimmy: sure. >> and it's going to be all -- so finally, i looked around and i found a piece of paper. and i picked it up, and it had my autograph on it. [ audience oohs ] that's supposed to be funny, not tragic. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. and -- >> and -- and it was -- and i used it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that is the ultimate lesson. that is fantastic. [ applause ] our thanks to kathy bates. chris pratt joins us next, you guys. [ cheers ] there he is, hanging out in the bud light lime green room. ♪ [ applause ]
3:29 am
[ woman ] i think people were stunned at the hurricane. and it's the little things that you don't think about. people think of the food, they think of housing, but no one thinks: "how are you going to wash your clothes?" i brought towels, blankets. socks. sheets and pillowcases. [ man ] you just don't feel human without clean clothes. [ female announcer ] tide loads of hope is a free laundry service that provides clean clothes for families affected by disasters. together we can provide loads of hope. visit us on facebook to see our efforts in haiti. [ male announcer ] build your better breakfast with all the flavors you choose. try an irresistible steak, egg & cheese, with toasty tomato or chipotle southwest sauce on tasty flatbread. only at subway! ♪ [ whistle blows ] [ squishing ] [ male announcer ] pool filled with caramel. not as good as chocolate filled with caramel. introducing milky way simply caramel.
3:30 am
life's better the milky way. that's why lysol does more with our new stainless look no-touch hand soap system. its soap kills 99.9% of bacteria. with no more germy pumps, healthy hands are automatic. visit missionforhealth.
3:31 am
we expect a lot from our cheese. why did the cook get arrested? i don't know. he was caught beating an egg! [ laughs ] a cheese monger, a dairy farmer and a duck walk into this... wait a minute, have you heard this one? nice tie sir. is that a windsor knot? [ male announcer ] we take the time for our cheese to mature before we bake it into every delicious cracker because at cheez-it, real cheese matters.
3:32 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back, everybody. our next guest is one of the stars of the critically acclaimed nbc sitcom "parks and recreation," which airs thursdays at 9:30 p.m. starting today, you can also see him on the big screen in the movie "take me home tonight." please welcome chris pratt! ♪ the pit i fell into the pit you fell into the pit ♪ ♪ we all fell into the pit the pit i fell into the pit ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: -- my man. >> oh, wow. >> jimmy: nice to see you. >> nice to see you too. >> jimmy: thanks for coming back. you've been here before. >> yeah, that's right. yeah. >> jimmy: we did a "glee" spoof with the "parks and rec" kids. >> yeah, that's right. >> jimmy: and thank you so much for doing that. we were dancing around and singing and it was fun. >> it was so fun. i love you guys were singing "the pit." i know, i was like, "what are they gonna do?
3:33 am
they always -- they always do something customized. >> jimmy: oh, the roots? >> yes. the roots were singing "the pit." >> jimmy: yes, they were. they were singing. yeah, "the pit," mouse rat. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] "parks and rec." >> well, that's my time. >> jimmy: no, no, no, no, no. stay there. you know kathy. >> i do know kathy. >> kathy: yes. -- we met many years ago. >> that's right, we -- kathy directed the first episode of "everwood." a show -- [ scattered applause ] that two people knew. that's in the description. >> jimmy: "a show." >> "a show." >> jimmy: yes, it was a show. it was a show and you directed the first episode, which, i remember when we -- when the pilot got picked up, we were all so excited. and then, when we heard that you were directing, everyone was like, "oh, my gosh, they're really taking this seriously because they have oscar award-winning kathy bates directing us." and so, that's how we met the first time. >> jimmy: that's awesome. very good. and then -- [ applause ] and then you picked up your dog's poop with her autograph, which is -- that was weird. you shouldn't have done that. that's not what people do. that's disrespectful. before that, though, this is a interesting story. you were a -- were you a traveling salesman? >> yeah. well, i was a door-to-door
3:34 am
salesman. yeah. right out -- >> jimmy: what made you get into this door-to-door? >> well, i did one semester of college and then -- [ scattered applause ] yeah, thank you. [ laughter ] thank you. it was expensive. >> jimmy: good for you. >> and -- and i was like -- this was -- i don't know. it wasn't for me. and so i decided to join the workforce. so i was circling ads in the paper. and there was an ad that said, "do you like rock 'n' roll music? do you want to make money?" [ laughter ] and i was like, "oh, my god." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's all it said? >> "yes, yes," and i circled it. and then it was, you know, it should have said "salesman," but it was this coupon salesman thing. and it was one of these multilevel marketing things where one day, you could open up your own office and i did it for two years. i did it for two whole years. i -- >> jimmy: where was this? >> it was in seattle, washington. pacific northwest, where i'm from. and then i -- i became -- hey, thank you. yeah. i became national salesman of the year and opened my own office. >> jimmy: hey! >> yeah. in -- in colorado. thank you. [ applause ]
3:35 am
and subsequently just lost my ass. i had a minivan that i'd purchased for my crew. i had like a 40 year old, two-time convicted -- >> jimmy: felon. >> -- felon on my staff. he was supposed to be on house arrest. but we're like, "yeah, we'll take good care of him." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> and then i just -- i just -- it was terrible. i was burnt out and i found, you know, they put a lien on my minivan. >> jimmy: oh, my god. >> my mom had to fly me home. mom, thanks for the -- for the plane ticket home. >> jimmy: there you go. thank you, mrs. pratt. and then, how did you go from that to acting? >> well, you know, my friend -- a good friend of mine, alex, bought me a one-way ticket to maui, where he had been living since high school and -- >> jimmy: not too shabby. >> yeah, it was awesome. so i just kind of retired. i just went and lived. >> jimmy: at 17, you retired? >> yeah. well, i was 19 at this point. >> jimmy: oh, okay. yeah, yeah, yeah. oh, yeah, you were old. yeah. [ light laughter ] >> and yeah, we went, and we camped for like eight months. we lived in a like -- had this -- me and my friend zeb. zeb is a huge -- this is great.
3:36 am
'cause i was gonna do a secret signal to zeb to show, but it was gonna be this. [ laughter ] and then that would -- and then that would be -- zeb loves your show. he's watching right now. i was gonna try to -- i don't know how i was gonna work that in. >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, that was -- that's not that secret. i mean, that's pretty crazy. [ laughter ] >> and yeah, but he -- he and i lived in a van together for like eight months. and then i -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is going on? are you -- are you all right? do you need help? >> no. >> jimmy: give me a signal if you need help. okay? yeah. you lived in a van with zeb. >> with zeb, yeah. he was my roommate. >> jimmy: you have to write a book. this is phenomenal. >> yeah, well, and then -- and then, i was -- i was waiting tables at the bubba gump shrimp company in lahaina. [ cheers ] and i waited on -- >> jimmy: bubba gump shrimp? >> i waited on the actress rae don chong. >> jimmy: oh, i know rae don chong. [ scattered applause ] >> she changed my life, completely. she -- she, like -- basically gave me an audition for a movie that she had written, was directing. and i auditioned for this movie. i got a part. and she gave me 700 bucks to be in this movie, shot in ten days. it was shot in l.a.
3:37 am
and i was, like, i've got 700 bucks. i've always -- i've always wanted to be an actor. >> jimmy: 700 bucks was a lot of money. >> i got -- yeah. -- in a van. >> i was like,' 700 bucks! that's like another 12 years in the van!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] and i bought a suzuki samurai. i don't know if you've ever seen those. >> jimmy: it's like a motorcycle? >> it -- no, i wish. i wore a motorcycle helmet when i drove it, sometimes. but it was like a -- it was like a -- it was a -- it's like a jeep, but smaller. >> jimmy: like a dune buggy? >> no, it's -- i don't know, it's like -- it's -- it's -- >> jimmy: it's not safe. >> it's a $700 car. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i gotcha. i gotcha. yeah, i gotcha. >> and so, that was it. that's how i became an actor. that's how it opened the door. >> jimmy: that's a good story. >> yeah. >> jimmy: now, "take me home tonight." i got to say -- i love this movie. i thought it was so charming. it's set in 1988 so it's like a -- kind of like a little tip of the cap to all those movies from the '80s. you know, "say anything," "breakfast club," all that type of thing. but it's set in one night. you play kind of a --
3:38 am
kind of a losery type of guy. >> yeah. yeah. a d -- a d-bag. >> jimmy: a d -- yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: watch it. kathy, kathy. watch it. [ laughter ] no, yeah, you do. you -- like a jockey guy, but you're really funny. >> oh, thanks, man. >> jimmy: really, like i thought it was well, well-played. you and topher grace. >> topher grace. the lovely and amazing and beautiful anna faris. >> jimmy: yeah. now, anna faris, in this movie, plays your girlfriend that you want to -- and you actually -- you want to propose to her and all that stuff. >> yeah. >> jimmy: gosh, she is so funny. she is so funny. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and it's kind of -- the movie is so charming. and it's different love triangles, stuff like that. and after -- after college what do you do? and all this stuff and it's like, parties in people's backyards, stuff like that. but here's the coolest part, i think, of this. you're supposed to marry anna in this movie, and you don't. [ laughter ] maybe, maybe. but -- >> well, there's -- there is -- yeah. there's a scene where my character -- where i'm proposing to her character in the movie. i don't think i'm giving away too much by saying that.
3:39 am
and there's this proposal where, you know, i get down on one knee. and i present her a ring, and this is a gal that i was like crazy about her work. and i met her, and i was like, "oh, my gosh." i just couldn't -- i couldn't keep my eyes off her like, i knew where she was onset all the time. >> jimmy: like, an actor -- actor to actor, you had a crush on her. >> yeah, i kind of had a crush on her. and then, we, you know, wrapped the movie and we started dating, and now we're married, in real life. which is kind of cool. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he got married to the girl in real life! >> kathy: that's so cool. >> thank you. >> jimmy: that's such a great thing. >> kathy: that's so cool. >> jimmy: hey, i was wondering if you guys would do something when we come back. do you -- would you like to play a game of charades? >> kathy: yeah! >> yeah. >> jimmy: all right. let's do this! when we come back, chris pratt, kathy bates and i are playing charades! come back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ male announcer ] this is lara. her morning begins with arthritis pain. that's a coffee and two pills. the afternoon tour begins with more pain and more pills. the evening guests arrive. back to sore knees. back to more pills.
3:40 am
the day is done but hang on... her doctor recommended aleve. just 2 pills can keep arthritis pain away all day with fewer pills than tylenol. this is lara who chose 2 aleve and fewer pills for a day free of pain. and get the all day pain relief of aleve in liquid gels. ♪ [ female announcer ] picking tights isn't always easy. ♪ picking a free detergent is. switch to tide free & gentle in the white and blue bottle. no other free detergent is milder on skin. and unlike the leading free detergent, it removes more residue from dirt, food, and stains. so nothing spoils this tights enthusiast's enthusiasm. tide free & gentle. style is an option. clean is not. also look for tide stain release free.
3:41 am
3:42 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back everybody.
3:43 am
i'm here with the great kathy bates and the great chris pratt. we're going to play charades. kathy's on my team. so chris, you're gonna need a -- you're gonna need a partner. playing with chris, please welcome our musical guest this evening, grammy award- winning rapper, lupe fiasco, everybody! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you, buddy? thank you so much for doing this. thank you so much for doing this. are you good at charades, lupe? >> um, adequate. >> jimmy: okay, that's good. i'll take that. you guys know how to play, right? each player gets a turn giving clues to their teammate. 45 seconds on the clock per turn. we play two rounds. each is worth one point. may the best team win. we have a team name. >> kathy: the lenny bruce team? >> jimmy: yeah. or the uncensored. >> kathy: yeah, the uncensored. >> jimmy: yeah, we'll go with the uncensored. we're the uncensored. [ cheers and applause ] that's the name of our team. you got a team name? >> lupe: orange juice box? >> orange juice box. it's good. >> jimmy: it's the uncensored versus orange juice box. kathy, you're up first. >> kathy: okay. >> jimmy: all right, you guys sit in this -- this couch, over
3:44 am
here. a lot of room. you can lay out if you want. >> kathy: okay. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. we are going to win. i cannot wait. >> kathy: ready? >> jimmy: yes. all right, it's a movie. three words. "the -- king's speech." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ all right, i went for the hug. i went for the hug. i went for the hug. i meant to say, "i'm so psyched." that was amazing. >> kathy: okay. all right, all right. >> jimmy: we're a great team. all right, you're up. you see how easy it is. that was awesome. you're great. >> wow. [ light laughter ] oh no. >> jimmy: ready? >> yes, movie. >> jimmy: oh, that's cheating. >> oh. >> kathy: aw. >> "psycho." [ laughs ] not "psycho." i know the name of the movie. [ laughs ] come on. come on. give me -- >> jimmy: so good.
3:45 am
>> yeah. >> chris: it's -- it's "misery." >> jimmy: hey! you can't do that. you can't do that. [ sad tuba ] that was the best. >> lupe: that was the name of the movie, wasn't it? >> jimmy: "misery," yeah. that was awesome. which number, you guys, what do you think? [ audience shouts ] >> jimmy: "misery," yeah. that was awesome. which number, you guys, what do you think? [ audience shouts ] >> jimmy: four. they want a four. here we go. [ light laughter ] >> audience member: telephone! >> jimmy: okay. here we go. >> kathy: book. three words. first word. "eat, pray, love." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are the best team ever!
3:46 am
we're the best team ever. i've never -- this is amazing! you're awesome. lupe, you're up buddy. >> chris: orange juice box, let's do it. >> kathy: you're up! >> jimmy: orange juice box, let's do this. [ audience shouting ] >> chris: movie. two words. "exhale." [ laughter ] "horse whisperer." saddle -- something saddle something? two words, first word is saddle? second word is saddle? first word -- blazing, laughing -- "blazing saddles?" ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. >> in yo face! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: nice. all right, here we go. let's have a showdown. you guys go. chris, you and kathy go at the same time, and whoever get this
3:47 am
wins the whole game. >> chris: nu-uh! >> jimmy: yeah, you both do the same -- >> lupe: wait, wait. so, what? >> jay: we sit back and guess. you guys give out the clues. it's a showdown. >> kathy: we have -- we have one clue? >> jimmy: one clue. and you guys both give it. whoever gets it first, wins it. >> kathy: oh, oh, okay. [ talking over each other ] >> kathy: what number? [ audience shouting ] >> jimmy: -- not laughing, so i don't know if this is a serious one. >> come on, man, lets cheat as much as we can. >> jimmy: all right. ready -- it's a movie. >> lupe: movie. >> both: four words. first word. >> jimmy: baby. >> bunny? rabbit? down? >> jimmy: crouch. "crouching tiger hidden dragon." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to kathy bates, chris pratt, lupe fiasco performs next. come on back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ 3q
3:48 am
with the money you invest in clothes, why risk they'll end up faded or stretched ? try woolite complete. it's for all your clothes because it has the right balance of cleaning and care, and say goodbye to fading, shrinking and stretching. woolite complete keeps all your clothes looking like new, longer. all the flavor of mint chocolate chip ice cream... ♪ a delicious 5-calorie stick of gum. dessert delights gum. from extra.
3:49 am
lysol complete clean dual action wipes have two sides that go beyond ordinary wipes. you can feel the difference. learn more at
3:50 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest will release his highly anticipated third album called "lasers," on march 8th. he's here tonight to perform the song, "the show goes on." with a little help from the roots, please welcome lupe fiasco! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> what going on new york city, how y'all feeling out there?
3:51 am
[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ all right, already the show goes on all night, till the morning we dream so long ♪ ♪ anybody ever wonder when they would see the sun up ♪ ♪ just remember when you come up the show goes on ♪ ♪ all right, already the show goes on all night till the morning ♪ ♪ we dream so long anybody ever wonder when they would see ♪ ♪ the sun up just remember when you come up the show goes on ♪ ♪ have you ever had the feeling that you was being had ♪ ♪ don't that make you mad they treat you like a slave with chains all on your soul ♪ ♪ and put whips up on your back they be lying through they teeth ♪ ♪ hope you slip up off your path i don't switch up i just laugh ♪ ♪ put my kicks up on they desk unaffected by they threats than get busy on they ♪ ♪ see that's how that chi-town made me that's how my daddy raised me ♪
3:52 am
♪ that glittering may not be gold don't let nobody play me if you are my homeboy ♪ ♪ you never have to pay me go on and put your hands up when times are hard you stand up ♪ ♪ l-u-p the man cause a brand that the fans trust ♪ ♪ so even if they ban us they'll never slow my plans up ♪ ♪ all right, already the show goes on all night, till the morning we dream so long ♪ ♪ anybody ever wonder when they would see the sun up ♪ ♪ just remember when you come up the show goes on ♪ ♪ all right, already the show goes on all night, till the morning we dream so long ♪ ♪ anybody ever wonder when they would see the sun up ♪ ♪ just remember when you come up the show goes on ♪ ♪ one in the air for the people that ain't here ♪ ♪ two in the air for the father that's there three in the air ♪ ♪ for the kids in the ghetto four for the kids that don't wanna be there ♪ ♪ none for them -- trying to hold them back five in the air ♪ ♪ for the teacher not scared
3:53 am
to tell those kids ♪ ♪ that's living in the ghetto that the -- holdin back that the world is theirs ♪ ♪ yeah yeah the world is yours i was once that little boy ♪ ♪ terrified of the world now i'm on a world tour i will give up everything ♪ ♪ even start a world war for these ghettos girls and boys ♪ ♪ i'm rapping round' the world for africa to new york ♪ ♪ haiti then i detour oakland out to auckland gaza strip to detroit ♪ ♪ say hip-hop only destroy tell em' look at me, boy i hope your son ♪ ♪ don't have a gun and never be a d-boy ♪ ♪ all right, already the show goes on all night, till the morning we dream so long ♪ ♪ anybody ever wonder when they would see the sun up ♪ ♪ just remember when you come up the show goes on ♪ ♪ all right, already the show goes on all night, till the morning we dream so long ♪ ♪ anybody ever wonder when they would see the sun up ♪ ♪ just remember when you come up the show goes on ♪ ♪ so no matter what you been through no matter what you into ♪ ♪ no matter what you see when you look outside your window ♪ ♪ brown grass or green grass picket fence or barbed wire ♪ ♪ never ever put them down you just lift your arms higher ♪
3:54 am
♪ raise em till' your arms tired let em' know you're there ♪ ♪ that you struggling and survivin' that you gonna persevere ♪ ♪ yeah, ain't nobody leavin nobody goin' home even if they ♪ ♪ turn the lights out the show is goin' on ♪ ♪ all right, already the show goes on all night, till the morning we dream so long ♪ ♪ anybody ever wonder when they would see the sun up ♪ ♪ just remember when you come up the show goes on ♪ ♪ all right, already the show goes on all night, till the morning we dream so long ♪ ♪ anybody ever wonder when they would see the sun up ♪ ♪ just remember when you come up the show goes on all right ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sounded great. lupe fiasco! that's what i'm talking about. that was great. you got to pick up his record, "lasers." see him live, monday in new york. we'll be right back! lupe fiasco! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
3:55 am
looking to add a little smile to your chili ? try french's. mac and cheese need a boost ? french's helps that, too. chicken in need of cheering up? add french's to your marinade. it's a surprising way to add a little fun to your food and a whole lot of happy to your family. for recipes and valuable coupons, go to to add a little happy to almost any meal. french's. happy starts here. a complete adult multivitamin in a gummy... with ingredients to support energy, immunity, and your inner child. ♪ one a day vitacraves. multivitamin gummies... for grown-ups.
3:56 am
3:57 am
3:58 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to kathy bates, chris pratt, lupe fiasco! and the greatest band in late night, the roots, right here, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching. stay tuned for carson daly, have a great weekend! i hope to see you next week. buh-bye. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
3:59 am


info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on